- If you eat something and no one sees you, then the food has no calories.
- When you eat with someone else, the calories don’t count if they eat more than you.
- If you drink diet cola and a chocolate bar; the diet cola cancels the calories in the chocolate bar
- Broken biscuits contain no calories; the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
- Food used for medical purposes never counts; eg cheesecake as an anti-depressant, hot chocolate for relaxation or brandy for fortification.
- It’s recommended that you fatten everyone up so you look slimmer.
- Food licked off cutlery or out of a bowl has no calories if you are following a recipe; eg butter icing on a cake; the remains of a scone mixture or the cream off the top of a trifle.
- TV and Cinema food contains no calories as they are part of the entertainment package.
- Foods of the same colour have the same calories; eg mushrooms & white chocolate, spinach & mint ice cream, water & a large gin and tonic.
- Athletes eat huge amounts of pasta before a race like the marathon. It’s a myth that you have to run 26 miles to work it off. One brisk trot around the settee is sufficient to wipe out a bowl of spaghetti. Twice round the living room will use up so much energy that a chocolate bar is required to supplement your sugar levels and rebuild your strength.
Try the above for 12 weeks and then ring us; because you’ll need to!
Good luck (and see you soon)